I used to believe this. It's part of the idea of buying into capitalism. Collectively, we Americans believe suffering and fear of destitution is a necessary evil to motivate people to work and contribute to the greater good. Of course, the European experience proves this is not needed, but we don't pay attention to life in Europe, decry socialism and pretend our way is better.

The motivation you describe is real, but it is also really stressful. It's generally a low grade stress, but the cumulative effect is palpable over many years. The older I get, the more I come to believe that stress was not necessary and was very counter-productive in terms of lost efficiency and poor health. I don't say that as someone who didn't succeed under those conditions, but as someone who did and still feels there is a better way.

Thanks for sharing your very personal posting. It's always interesting to get a window into other people's lives.