I’ve been deconstructing religion since preschool. I remember some of my first Sunday school classes and thinking everything they were telling me was nonsense. None of that ever made any sense to me. My mother still forced me to go to church with her until I was 14 when I finally told her on Easter Sunday that I didn’t believe in God. At least she stopped making me go to church then. When I was a preteen, we moved to the Bible belt where I was exposed to evangelical Christianity. It seem to me that they doubled down on crazy. I never accepted any part of their worldview, and I still don’t. True to my preschool self, I still think the whole Judeo-Christian concept of God, the old man in the sky, is just silly nonsense, and the evangelical vision of God is especially ridiculous. When I was in high school, I was particularly contemptuous toward evangelicals. Now I feel more compassion for what I perceive as their lunacy. What you call deconstruction some people would consider cult deprogramming. It’s sad that you find it so difficult to rid yourself of the brainwashing from your youth. Perhaps it won’t be quite so difficult for your kids when they get older.