Life After Divorce: From Pain to Hope

When Marriage Fails: A Journey Through Divorce and Self-Discovery (Part 5 of 5)

Part 1: Marriage Isn’t Forever: Love’s Hope and Lust’s Flame

Part 2: A Marriage Worn Thin by Life: The Slow Death of Dreams and Hope

Part 3: The Mistaken Beliefs that Ruined My Marriage: Lessons from the Wreckage

Part 4: My Failures as a Man In My Marriage: A Sincere Apology to My Ex-Wife

Selecting a suitable mate often means investing years in failed relationships to establish a list of criteria: must-haves, wants, can’t-stands, and rather-nots.

At first, as a man, the must-have is sex, want is looks, aversions, none — any port in the storm. With each disappointment, we add to our lists of can’t-stands and rather-nots, the crazies, the wounded, the needy.

As we gain experience with longer-term relationships, our lists become more nuanced and detailed, making it harder to find partners later in life, like having a million streaming shows and nothing to watch.

What I Can’t Abide