My autistic son is 20. He will never live independently, and he will live with us for the rest of our lives, by mutual choice. Being further down the road, I can share with you that the anguish you feel can be transformed into joy. The road to full acceptance of your circumstances and hers is paved with an ocean of tears, but if you follow the road it leads to an unexpected destination. You discover that you are uniquely blessed, not cursed, but blessed with an opportunity for a lifelong loving relationship with your daughter. Her quality of life is 100% dependent upon you and the choices you make for her. You can give her a quality of life that would be the envy of everyone who wants to luxuriate in an environment of love and acceptance. A special needs person can’t be spoiled with too much love and attention. Being there for my son has become the central focus of my spiritual practice. He has made me far better person than I ever would have become on my own. Embrace your opportunity.