My Failures as a Man In My Marriage: A Sincere Apology to My Ex-Wife

When Marriage Fails: A Journey Through Divorce and Self-Discovery (Part 4 of 5)

Reader note:

If you’re a divorced woman, upset by an unrepentant ex-husband, you’re about to read a sincere, deeply felt apology from a contrite ex-husband to his ex-wife. It may be heart-cleansing to read this slowly, play a few song notes, absorb it — imagining your unrepentant ex-husband saying these words to you. Suspend your disbelief, and see what opens up for you. It will be beautiful.

If you’re a man, if you identify with the foolish ideas and attitudes I clung to with pride, ask yourself if you would do this to a woman, knowingly, intentionally. It’s important because I’m about to lift your veil of ignorance, leaving no excuses. Once you see her truth, you must decide between being a abusive asshole, or a gentleman. It’s that clearcut.

Consider this: your actions define you for others. Your mysterious inner world concerns no one but you. Your victim story, prideful views, the bullshit you imagine define your character — it’s merely a thought in your head, a fart in the wind. Once you see the wrong you’re doing to a woman from her perspective, and you choose to continue, gleefully travel that road, you are Darth Vader, the Devil’s right hand.