My son strongly identifies with being a good boy. Whenever he thinks he is following the rules and doing the right thing but gets in trouble, it triggers a meltdown. This can be as simple as him not hearing his name and a teacher raising their voice. Or someone thinks he's doing something he's not. The other day, he hugged me after dinner and got food on my shirt, when I told him to wipe his hand before hugging me, he had a meltdown.

When he melts down, he loses control. He has squeezed his mother, hurting her, and he's injured himself, not seriously fortunately. The meltdowns appear for what seem to us to be minor things, but they all have the common thread of him thinking he was doing the right thing and getting in trouble.

We learned early on to head this off as quickly as possible. We've taught him a mantra, "calm, happy, relaxed" and he knows how to Yoga breathe, taking deep breaths to calm himself. We also talk reassuringly to him to help him calm down.