The problem with this as satire is that all of the opinions expressed are actually held by people on the right, and while we may not agree with them, you don’t make them sound as absurd as they are. In fact, I wasn’t sure if this was satire or right wing drivel until the very last sentence.

BTW, I play Mario kart every night with my autistic son. 10 races per night every night for the last 15 years. We are very good at it! Mushroom (booster) racing is the worst (or best) example of helping weakness over skill. When you come up on the cube to get an item if you are in the lead you will be given a useless coin but if you are not in the lead you will be given boosters. The way to win is to be just barely in second place when coming up to the last cubes. Racing for the lead punished with losing.